Some Ideas To Keep your Baby Close To Your Heart
Remembrance Ideas
~Buy a Locket with your Baby's name or nickname on the back. If you have some of your
Baby's hair or picture, you can place this inside the locket.
~Buy a charm bracelet. Buy an angel charm or something that represents your Baby to you. That could be
a Butterfly, a Star, or a Dove. Buy another charm that represents strength or hope to you (dragons, doves)
you can buy a variety of different charms that mean something special to you. You will feel that your
Baby is close to you.
~Buy a statue of a baby, or an angel. Place it somewhere special to remind you that your Baby is watching over
you constantly.
~If you had a miscarriage and received an ultrasound picture.. frame or laminate it, to keep it from ageing.
~Work out due dates, or take your Babies birth date, and go to a jeweller. Ask them to make you a ring, or some
other form of jewellry with your Child's Birthstone embedded.
~Make a WebPage in remembrance on your Sweet Baby.
~Organize for a Portrait to be painted or drawn of your Baby. If you never saw your Baby, the Artist can
still use ideas from you and your partners appearance. :)
~If you are creative, write a poem to your Baby from the heart. If you can sew or stitch, make a quilt
with patches of different things that is for your Baby. A Memory Blanket.
~Keep all your antenatal appointment cards, any photos and poems you cherish. Put them into an album.
You will find that it is hard to find a Baby Album without "Welcome to the World" or one that doesn't have
the Baby's Milestones to record inside the album. Find someone who specializes in Folk Art or painting,
and ask them to make you an album cover and backing. That way you can choose what you would like on your album,
instead of having to settle for the run of the mill Baby Albums that don't seem to fit.
Surviving Anniversaries & Holidays
Surviving the many Anniversaries can be hard. For those of you who have had a miscarriage, Anniversary dates include your
Babies Due Date of Arrival, the Date of Miscarriage. For those of neonatal/infant death, you have the Baby's Birth and Death Dates and the Funeral Dates.
Getting through this time is a nightmare.. I have outlined some tips below to help you through not only this, but through the Festive Season.
Getting Through the Anniversaries
~If you work, try to organize for a few days off around the dates of your Anniversary.
You will find that it will be good for you to have some time to yourself, and it can
get emotional at work when under pressure. You will find your coping skills have decreased somewhat
while you are grieving for your Baby.
~Start a tradition on these days. Buy a special candle for your Baby and light it on these days.
Sit and talk to your Baby as if they were in the room. The thoughts that are eroding away at your mind, can
be released, and make you feel alittle more at ease. Write a letter to your Child on these days.
~Don't feel you have to keep busy on these days. It helps with avoiding your grief, yes, but only defers the grief
to a more vulnerable time, where it will spill out uncontrollably. Do something therapeutic like run a bath,
have a special night with your Partner (even if it's based on talking), do something that will bring you comfort physically and emotionally.
~Begin a Memory Garden outside your house. If you don't have a green thumb, it is likely someone
you know is, and can help you with it. Tend to it on these days, and water it. It will help make you feel
that you are contributing and remembering your Precious Baby.
~Spend time with Family and Friends who are supportive. Those who will be there to listen, and not interrupt,
those who will let you talk about your Baby and your hopes and dreams, those who will offer a loving hug, a nice cup of tea,
and an ear.
~Be easy on yourself. If the cleaning doesn't get done, it will still be waiting for you tommorow. Make these days just for you,
where you don't have to worry about the day to day chores.
~Take your Partner or a Loved One to the beach at sunset, to a mountain, or river.
The peace and tranquility of dusk brings a calm with it. And aids in your emotional comfort.
The Festive Season.. Whats so Festive about it?
Many people associate Christmas with Children. Christmas wouldn't be special without them.
To us who have lost a Child, it doesn't seem special at all. It's just another painful reminder
that we don't have a Child to share Christmas with..
~Start a Tradition. Buy your Baby something. Not clothes, or toys, but a statue,
a nice shelf/cupboard for the Baby's pictures, cards, and other items. Other ideas include an angel
ornament to be hung on the tree with the Baby's nick name or name engraved on it, a stocking that you can
hang up, since your Baby is still apart of your family, just in a very different way.
~Take time to write your Baby a heart felt letter on Christmas Day. It will help you to
validate how you are feeling, and bring you an inch of comfort.
~Usually Christmas means parties, mingling with Family and Friends, which is probably the last thing you want to do.
If you are uncomfortable with socializing, then have a quiet day with your immediate family.
Plan a day out to the beach, or park, and spend time with your Partner and other children if applicable.
~Release a Balloon in your favoured colour on Christmas Day. Your own Memorial to your Baby on this day.
It can help ease some tension, and perhaps take some of the helplessness you feel away.
Here are some tips to help your survive through Christmas Time: